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When it’s divorce or custody
For anyone in the United States whose marriage is ending, who has been handed court papers, or who is trying to work out where the children will live, married or not. This page passes on, by name, what WomensLaw.org says is true in most states: how to get ready, how a divorce goes, how property and debts are divided, how a judge decides custody, what to know before you move or travel with the children, and what you can do after a decision. It adds what Nemours KidsHealth says about helping children through it, what the tax agency says changes, and where the federal government says to look for free legal help. It builds the questions to ask a lawyer and prints a card for your case. Take only what you need today.
Before anything else
- In danger right now? Call 911.
- Afraid of your spouse or the other parent? The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. WomensLaw.org says many people who abuse become more violent when the other person is ending the relationship.
- About to leave the state with the children? Ask first. WomensLaw.org says that once a divorce is filed, a common automatic order is that neither parent can remove the child from the state unless the judge or the other parent consents, and that parental kidnapping is a crime defined differently in each state.
- Handed court papers? Find the date on them today. Doing nothing does not make a case go away.
- Thinking about ending your life? Call or text 988, at any hour.
More help
- Going to court: When you have to go to court without a lawyer and When you need a lawyer and can’t pay.
- Child support: When it’s about child support.
- If you are not safe: When home isn’t safe, Make your safety plan and If someone is stalking you.
- Keeping track: the Paper trail, Dates to keep and the Money plan.
- Money and coverage: When the money runs out and When you’re losing health coverage.
- How you feel: When you feel alone, When the heaviness won’t lift and When the worry won’t switch off.
- All our free tools.
This page and its wording were written with AI (Claude) for Scarlet Beast (our AI policy). No lawyer, counselor or accountant has reviewed it. The facts were read on October 7, 2026 on WomensLaw.org, a project of the National Network to End Domestic Violence: its general pages on Divorce (laws current as of June 13, 2025), Custody (April 27, 2023) and Parental Kidnapping (June 24, 2024), and its Finding a Lawyer page; on Nemours KidsHealth’s “Tips for Divorcing Parents” (medically reviewed March 2023); on the Internal Revenue Service’s “Filing taxes after divorce or separation”; on USAGov’s “Find a lawyer and affordable legal aid” (last updated November 17, 2025) and “How to change your name and what government agencies to notify”; on the Legal Services Corporation’s “I Need Legal Help” page; and on the front page of LawHelp.org. What is marked “ours” is our own. A caution about WomensLaw.org: it is written for survivors of abuse and often calls the other person “the abuser”; we pass on its general explanations and say “your spouse” or “the other parent”. Its custody page is the oldest of the three. What we left out or did not read: every state’s own law, fees, forms, waiting periods and deadlines; legal separation and annulment as court processes; how spousal support is worked out; which states use community property; military divorce; divorce when a spouse lives in another country, and the State Department’s pages on stopping a child being taken abroad (they would not open for us); immigration status tied to a marriage; grandparents’ and other relatives’ rights; Law Help Interactive and the bar association sites USAGov lists. We called no number. This page saves nothing and loads no analytics (privacy).