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When someone you love is in jail or prison
For the family and friends left outside, in the United States. How to find where they are. How calls, letters, money and visits work. What to tell the children. Who to tell when you are worried about their health or safety. And the words to say when you call the facility. One thing at a time.
Right now
- You think they may try to end their life? Call the place that holds them now and say so. The Federal Bureau of Prisons says to immediately contact the institution where the person is and inform staff of your concern.
- You don’t know where they are? Just arrested: call the jail in the county where it happened (that is our suggestion). Federal: the Bureau of Prisons has a locator. State: USAGov lists every state’s department of corrections. All three are under “Find where they are” below.
- Someone is asking you for money to get them out? Slow down, and ask the court or the jail directly. Is this a scam?
- It is too much for you tonight? Call or text 988, at any hour. In danger: 911.
More help
- For the person coming home: Coming home from jail or prison and the Fair chance job kit.
- Need a lawyer and can’t pay? When you need a lawyer and can’t pay.
- Their income is gone? When the money runs out, When you need food and When you need a place to stay.
- Keeping track of calls, letters and dates? Paper trail, Dates to keep, Where things are and Call script.
- Raising a child who is not yours? When you’re caring for someone and Help at school for your child.
- Afraid for someone’s life? When you’re worried about someone.
- The person inside hurt you? When home isn’t safe.
- All our free tools and Get help now.
This page and its wording were written with AI (Claude) for Scarlet Beast (our AI policy). No lawyer, social worker, counselor or person who works in corrections has reviewed it, and it was not written by someone who has lived this. The facts come from pages read on October 5, 2026: the Federal Bureau of Prisons (bop.gov), USAGov (usa.gov), Youth.gov, Sesame Workshop, the National Resource Center on Children and Families of the Incarcerated at Rutgers University, the Department of Justice Office of the Inspector General, and the PREA Resource Center. The page says whose words it is passing on. Most of the detailed rules here are the Federal Bureau of Prisons’ own, and they apply to federal prisons only. Most people who are locked up are held in state prisons and local jails; we did not read any state’s, county’s or city’s rules, and the page says to ask the facility. The Bureau’s pages describe what it says it does; we have no way to check what happens inside. We could not read the Federal Communications Commission’s page on phone rates (it refused our request), so the page says nothing about what calls cost. We did not read about bail and bond, courts, sentencing, appeals, parole and probation, immigration detention, juvenile facilities, military or tribal custody, private prisons, Social Security or other benefits while someone is locked up, child support, family law, or what the companies that move money and run phone systems charge. The line about 988 was read on October 1, 2026. Many lines are our own suggestions, and the page marks them as ours. This page saves nothing: no account, no cookies, nothing you tick is stored or sent, and no analytics (privacy). Scarlet Beast is not a law firm or a government agency, and takes no money from anyone named here. Found a mistake? Email [email protected].